Doubt

I doubt that anyone is reading this boring blog but I just want to say that it feels so good to express how I feel.

Divorced Parents

Being from a "Broken" Family is never fun. Today I had to make up my mind as to who to spend my Christmas this year. My dad lives in Puerto Rico and he asked me to spend Christmas with him this year which i haven't done since I was like 8. He called me and said he was buying the plane tickets for my brother, his girlfriend, and my nephew along with the ones for my step brother. When he asked me I said no because I am used to spending it with my mom here at home but once I said no I could here a little bit of sadness when he said that it was ok and that he understood. About 2 hours after I felt kinda bad for turning down his offer and I agreed to go spend Christmas with him and when I told my mom I knew she was a bit sad right away and that hurt me as well. Its too late now to say no to my dad and but i'm kind off nervous as to how this Christmas might be and how home sick i'm going to get even though i'm only going for a week. Having divorced parents is a pain in the ass when i have to make these type of decisions.

First Date / Hang Out

That first date that was meant to happen Monday didn't happen at all. It actually got turn into just hanging out by the guy and then our times did not really match so we moved it to Thursday. So far its just hanging out because he doesn't want the first time we meet to be "Awkward". I guess we will see it ends up happening cause i am not completely sure. I hope we get to meet because we haven't met yet and we have been talking since July 29 and we still haven't met in person or skyped or talked on the phone. I'm not worried but just curious how well we will click in person cause i really like his personality and i like talking to him so i hope that doesn't changes.

The First Date

Why is it that the first date is always kind off nerve wrecking? It could be that this is my first date ever, yes i said ever I can tell my kids if i ever have any that my first date was when i was 20 years old. The date is tomorrow i have no clue where we are going i think its going to be dinner and a movie but i am so not sure i don't even know at what time yet. The date is with a guy that i met on a dating website (OKC). We havent even met in person yet which makes it so more nerve wrecking we have sent pics but that's it. Since we started talking i believe we have talked everyday which is weird cause i get bored easily when im talking to someone but i guess not with him. I guess i will have to wait and see how it goes tomorrow i hope dont cancel.

Intro

Hi i am a guy i am 20 years old. I am creating to share what i go through in my life on a day to day basis. I don't have a hard life but there are moments that become so hard for me to deal with. A little more about myself I live at home I have 3 siblings I was born in Puerto Rico I moved here to the states when i was 9 years old i am also gay and in "The Closet". I want to make this site so i can express what i feel instead of sucking it all in. So if what i posts helps anyone else that would be awesome.